


Politically Parker

by Mizzy



Category: Leverage
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-11
Updated: 2011-03-11
Packaged: 2017-10-16 21:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/169413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizzy/pseuds/Mizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker asks Nate what politics really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Politically Parker

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I made an innocent suggestion to someone that they should turn their favorite joke into fanfiction, little realizing I was telling myself. Oops. So this gag is not one I came up with, but I adore it.
> 
> Leverage belongs to TNT and I don't own it at all (apart from the Season 1 & 2 box sets and the soundtrack but none of the intellectual property or property or anything intellectual at all, actually).

“Politics,” Nate said, like it was a dirty word, and “Urgh, I can’t even say it,” Sophie said with a wince that folded up her pretty face. Parker had always thought politics might have been a swear word, and Sophie’s reaction definitely proved it.

The trouble was she wasn’t entirely sure she knew what politics was, except for it being a lot of overweight men talking about laws that she would just break anyway. But Nate was always going on and on about self-improvement, so Parker decided to ask him what politics actually  _was_.

Nate stared at her for a moment, squinting. He was thinking. Parker could tell. That blood vessel on his forehead was standing out, so he was either thinking or extremely constipated. Nate didn’t seem the type to try and number 2 while he was talking to people, and he definitely thought more than he ought to, so he was definitely thinking.

Probably.

“Okay,” Nate said, gesturing with his glass, “I guess you could think of it this way. I’m the head of the group, so I suppose you could say I’m why the money we get comes in, so I’m capitalism. Uh. Hardison buys what we need, he’s the money administrator, so he’s the Government. We all help take care of you, so you’re the People. Sophie, uh, she ropes people in which is the hard initial work, so I guess she’s the Working Class – don’t tell her I said that she’ll never sleep with m-“ He looked embarrassed suddenly. “Uh, she’ll never  _speak_  with me again. And Eliot, he’s a mastermind in the making, so he’s the Future.”

“Right,” Parker said. “And?”

Nate shrugged. “Go away and think about it, see if you can make sense of it with that model.”

Parker went away and thought about it. She wasn’t as good at thinking as Nate was. She missed stuff that he thought of first. It was quite annoying actually. It took her much longer than him. But it wasn’t like she had a deadline on knowing it, so she took her time.

An hour or so of thinking on the roof hadn’t helped, so she climbed back down in through the main window, and found Eliot standing in the doorway, covered in manure and spluttering about how some goon from their current job had got him stuck hiding in a farm all night. He was sort of stinking up the place, so she went to find Hardison to help clean him up, as Hardison had all those special wipes for his computer screen that cleared dust up, and if they cleared dust they should clear manure. She called his name and got no response. She went into the kitchen to find Hardison was asleep on his keyboard, and he looked  ~~cute~~  very much asleep so she went to find Sophie.

Sophie wasn’t answering her either.

For some reason she was in Nate’s bedroom and Nate was in there too and the door was locked and they were being a little loud. Parker picked the lock and peeked in, and turned around quickly. They _really_  weren’t going to be any help at all, and if Nate wasn’t any help, then how could she help anyone? Parker gave up and let Eliot deal with his own manure problems.

The next day, she came back into the apartment and stole the bowl of cereal Nate was about to eat. He looked at her, eyebrows raised.

“I think I got that politics thing,” she told him through a mouthful of Wheat Bisk.

“Okay,” Nate said, pretty patiently considering how cross he was having to pour another bowl of cereal, like it was something  _difficult_ to do. “Tell me in your own words.”

"Well,” Parker replied, proud of herself for figuring it out all on her own. “While Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”


End file.
